among the galaxies
by ameliaponderly
Summary: With every planet he's ever been to, with every place he's ever seen and every person he's ever met, you would think he would able to find the words to tell her. {amyxeleven}
1. Chapter 1

He can feel her.

He can feel her even after she's gone to bed and settled down with Rory, even after she's fast asleep beside her husband and they're breathing in sync, legs entangled and hearts beating as one (since they decide to squeeze into one twin bunk rather than taking advantage of the bunk bed he has kindly supplied them with). He can feel her with him, not in a bedroom far off from the console room.

But he would never _admit it_.

He would never admit he gets this tingling feeling in his fingers after he catches her stare lingering or her voice dwindles because the silence in the room speaks louder than her words ever will. He would never admit that he brushes against her shoulder sometimes in the corridor or near the console just to feel her; just to try and get her to shiver when pale skin meets scratchy tweed. He would never admit that he likes the way she looks at her husband, but perhaps only because he would trade a thousand years to be where Rory is now – close to her and holding her heart in ways he never will be able to.

–

"Don't be an idiot, of course the TARDIS is protected. Safest ship in the universe, I pride myself on that." He shot back at Rory, who did the usual 'idiotic time lord is telling me something I should already know; so in reality it is I that is actually the idiot' eye roll, and the Doctor is prancing around the console flicking switches and pressing buttons.

"Are you sure? I swore I heard growling outside my bedroom door last night. Was it you?" He asks, and the Doctor laughs in the slightest and shakes his head, while Rory continues to look at him and try to detect if he is lying.

"Yes, I'm sure, Rory. There isn't some weird lion or Gueirian tiger roaming the halls in the middle of the night." The Doctor replies, yanking down a lever and the TARDIS jolts in the slightest. Rory nearly falls off his feet and the Doctor bites back the tiniest of smiles.

"Well, fine, but one more weird noise in the night and I'm putting in a request to get my room switched to another corridor." Rory scoffs, crossing his arms and leaning against the console. And then he says something the Doctor never wanted to hear him say; "There's something I ought to talk to you about, by the way. It involves – Amy."

"Amelia."

"She likes it when you call her _Amy_." Rory argues, and the Doctor looks up at him for a moment and sets his jaw before quickly relaxing it and rounding the console to get to him. He shrugs his shoulders expectantly and Rory sighs, running a hand through his hair before going on, "I think it's time for her and I to take a break."

The silence that settles in the room is nothing but bitter, and the Doctor seems a bit taken aback by the whole ordeal, "A break?" He manages to choke out, reaching up to fumble with his bow tie with somewhat clammy hands.

"Yeah. As in we leave here, head back to Leadworth for a month or two -" Rory starts, but the Doctor cuts him off after a moment.

"What does she think? Amy? Have you talked to her about this?" He manages to get out, coughing into his palm and glancing away for a moment toward the stairs, where he sees a dash of pale skin and a flick of ginger hair in the doorway, and the soft padding of footsteps that takes off down the corridor.

"I haven't talked to her about it yet."

"You're making rash decisions like this without her consent?"

"I would think she would be alright with it. We all need breaks from traveling, Doctor. Especially her." He says a bit seriously, and the Doctor blinks as he stares at Rory.

"And what if she didn't want a break?"

"She does."

"Go ask her, then. Fine by me, not that you needed my consent. No one ever cares what I have to think."

"Oh, shut up!" Rory nearly shouts, and the Doctor reaches forward quickly and presses his palm over Rory's mouth, frowning deeply.

"No, you shut up. She can hear you."

"Can she? I don't think she can, Doctor, and I also think you don't have the right to decide what _my wife_ and I are going to do with _our lives_. Besides, it's not like you expected her to stay with you forever!"

"Maybe I did expect that."

"No, you didn't. Because of all people, you are not one to think idiotic things like that."

The Doctor cringes and Rory shoves his arm away, storming off down the corridor, and the Doctor lands them on some wasteful planet with different colored puddles and flowery trees and calls them down, and everyone acts like nothing happened until later, when Amy looks at him and swipes at her eyes, forcing the smallest of smiles.

He would never admit it, not to himself or anyone else, but for a moment he feels the swelling need to tell her. But even he – he, the master of everything that ever was and ever will be, he, a practical god – can not find the words to tell her.


	2. Chapter 2

It's later and he's watching her and Rory leave to go to bed, but she turns at the split second and comes back to him, calling out to Rory that she'll meet him there in a moment. She walks back down the stairs and they stare at each other, and within seconds she's got her arms wrapped around him and he's clinging to her as if she might fall away at any moment.

"I'm not going anywhere, you idiot." She mumbles into his tweed, and he hugs her tighter. She sighs slightly and he loosens his grip, but she tightens her and it occurs to him how much he truly does like hugging her, because she's all soft lines and soft and pale and he's all sharp and jagged and they're both quite bony, if he were to be honest with himself, but everything about her makes him want to hold on as tightly as he can.

"Maybe you should go," He starts, trying to play nice and push her focus back to Rory (because even he knows that if he doesn't let go of her soon he may not ever be able to), "just for a bit. A little holiday for the two of you, give those legs a break from running."

"I don't want a stupid break, I want to stay here." She replies in that stubborn tone of hers, and they pull away from each other and she's frowning, reaching out to press her palm against his cheek, "I don't want you to be alone."

"I'll be fine, Amelia."

"I like Amy just a tad bit better -"

"Rory already got onto me."

"You didn't let me finish, you idiot." She snickers, "Unless you're the one saying it. I like Amelia, but only coming from your mouth." She says, pursing her lips for a moment before poking his cheek with her thumb, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, 'M fine." He lies, leaning into her touch and nudging her palm with his nose, sighing as he closes his eyes briefly. After a moment she lets him fold her up in his arms once more, an even tighter hug this time as he buries his face in her shoulder and swallows back what feels like – tears.

"I'm not going anywhere, Doctor, trust me. Rory would have to drag me off the TARDIS to get me to leave." She mumbles into him, and he pulls away and takes her face in his hands, calloused thumbs running over her cheeks as he tilts her head down and presses an unchaste kiss to her forehead, resting his against hers, "Doctor," She starts, but he stops her by pulling away with a sad smile, and she has to bite down on her tongue to keep from lunging back at him.

"Go to bed, Amelia."

"That's the thing, though – you only call me Amelia when you're worried about me. Are you worried about me?" She questions him, crossing her arms for a moment and looking at him while he skims his hand over the console, flicking a switch and pressing a button as if it were natural for him to do so – and in a way, it is.

"I always worry about you – you know that."

"Mutual." She replies, and he sighs as he hears her quickly leave the console room, her hair trailing behind her like a streak of fire. She's all warm and stubborn and fire and she makes him hate the fact that he is a time lord (though he already hated himself) and the fact that she will leave him before he even has the chance to think about leaving her.

He braces his hands against the console and lets his head fall forward as a lone tear streaks down his cheek.


End file.
